10 November 2010 0 Comments

Are You Really Needing a Divorce: Part II When counseling doesn’t work

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As we all know, a rock in our shoe will eventually make us sit down and take the rock out. The annoying poking and fidgeting of our foot in the shoe, the oncoming blister, and the pain make it so. For many married couples counseling is much like that break, allowing a marriage to remove the rocks from the shoes. And so it is that many couples will see a marriage counselor. What happens all too frequently is after half a dozen sessions, they see no results. They think this means that their marriage is over and that they should get a divorce.
After six sessions there could have been a number of reasons that this couple saw “no results” with the marital counselor. Unrealistic expectations or the failure to see that it took a while to get to this point in the relationship are two obvious reasons. Seriously, multiple years of marital drift can not be cured in six, 50 minute sessions. If a couple thought results should happen that fast after years of a poor marital partnership, their full and complete effort was doomed from the start. In such a short time they were simply unable to let go of their contemplations of divorce. Many couples are blinded and unable to see even one single kernel of advice that could have turned around their marriage. They expect that marital counseling can solve everything. What is more, the internal battle that each one is having with feelings that they could “do better” with another future partner.

So our couple quits marital therapy. Battle lines are drawn, and circling the wagons they each hire an attorney, or perhaps jointly see a divorce mediator.
The divorce lawyer or mediator does what they are hired to do. Protect your rights as you go through the divorce process.

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