26 January 2011 0 Comments

California divorce and marital infidelity

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Because California has a very high rate of divorce, statistics show that about one-third of all marriages will experience marital infidelity.  In many long-term relationships, one of the partners sometimes wonders what it would be like to have an affair.  It is only normal that a relationship and the partners in it change over time.  Their interests are different; they want other things now.  Losing track of a relationship and how one sees their partner, can very well open the door to marital infidelity.

Marital infidelity is usually a sign that something is wrong in a relationship.  The actual act of adultery is not the most damaging aspect involved, it is also the secrecy associated with the affair – secrecy leads to distance between the couple and the lack of communication is gone. 

However, anyone in a trusting, committed relationship knows that it is not appropriate to engage in an extramarital affair and will keep his or her distance from any tempting prospects.  Marital infidelity does not always mean the end of the relationship.  If the person who had the affair wants to end the affair, he or she must first open up and admit responsibility, communicate his or her feelings to the other, and acknowledge the mistake made.  On the other hand, the partner who was betrayed must also open up and express his or her feelings – discuss the anger, hurt and distrust that has occurred.  Both partners must acknowledge their own responsibilities which led to the difficulties incurred and which caused this extramarital affair in the first place.  Blaming each other will not help.  Finally, both partners need to discuss their unhappiness and what can be done to fix it, if anything.  Sometimes an extramarital affair can help the couple start a new relationship, complete with trust, commitment and a renewed love. 

In conclusion, California is a ‘no-fault’ divorce state and adultery is not grounds for divorce.  The only grounds necessary for a California divorce is irreconcilable differences or incurable insanity.  If you are headed for divorce, contact an experienced California Family Law attorney to discuss your options.

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