21 March 2014 0 Comments

Healing from Domestic Violence

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Domestic Violence effects children who have Witnessed it, and those Abused all the way to Adulthood. Help your child heal from the Trauma.

Family Violence creates an environment where children live in constant fear. Children who witness domestic violence suffer the same effects as those who are physically abused as well. They are unable to establish nurturing bonds with either one of their parents. Children who live in homes where there is constant domestic violence are at greater risk of being neglected, physically and emotionally abused.

The environment a child is exposed to will have a different reaction and effect based on their sex and age. A child who is exposed to family violence are more likely to develop social, behavioral, emotional, and psychological problems versus those who are not exposed to family violence. These will be also projected as adults, they are more likely to suffer depression and end up in an abusive relationships.

Children need healing as much as the victimized parent, it becomes essential to reassure that child and provide nurture, love and care. It is important as a parent to continue to demonstrate their own personal healing, and reassure your child you are there for support and that they are safe.

Provide your child with:

  • Trust and Respect- Respecting and accepting your child’s right to their own feelings, friends, and activities. Allow for privacy and respect their feelings for the other parent, believe in them and promote independence.
  • Provide Emotional Security-Be gentle, and be dependable. Talk and act so your children feel safe, and comfortable to express themselves and their feelings.
  • Provide Physical Security- Provide a safe home, clothing all the essentials, and teach them about hygiene. Get them in a daily routine.
  • Provide Discipline- Use discipline to give instruction on limits and expectations, NOT to punish.
  • Spend Time- Be involved in your children’s lives, but also include them in your daily activities. Reveal who you really are to your children, it helps them let go of person you were before “Domestic Violence Victim”
  • Support and Motivate- Recognize improvements, encourage them, teach them new skills, let them agree to disagree with you, let them learn from their own mistakes.
  • Give them Affection- Express it verbally and physically, but more so when they are feeling hurt.
  • Care for yourself- Have some “me time.” Stay healthy, maintain friendships, and accept love from all those who care for you.

Working With Your Children

The key to start the healing process with your child is trust. Its a major factor to children who were exposed to domestic violence. Children  need a safe place with an adult they can trust.

Listen to your children, give them respect and take interest in their lives. reassure them you care and show it. Seek professional help if you need it. Teach your child how to be safe, and have a safety plan establish with your child. In case of an emergency, or if they are in danger. Have a print out for your child of the safety plan, include emergency phone numbers: the Police, a friend or neighbor they trust, and your contact information. Have it set up in a way that helps keep your child calm, for example  “when I get scared I can go to __________, ” “These are the emergency exits in my home ______________,” ” In an emergency I can go ___________ or call __________   _____________”. Teach your child to get to safety in an emergency, and how to get help.

If you have questions about domestic violence, contact the law offices of Holstrom, Sissung & Block we understand how critical it is to ensure safety, and work effortlessly to protect your rights.  Experienced attorneys who know the law and we know what it takes to reach a positive outcome on your behalf.

We are Holstrom, Sissung & Block located and serving Southern California, contact one of our offices by phone, or visit us online.

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