11 November 2010 0 Comments

Part Three: Saving Your Marriage

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Marriage is a very complicated art. If you ask anyone who has been married for a long time, you’ll get the response that marriage is one of the hardest things in the world. It is a learned skill. It takes patience, care, determination, forgiveness, and humility. Marriage requires work and time most of all. It is as difficult as learning how to be a nuclear physicist or playing the violin.

A successful marriage takes many hours and years of deliberate practice. People in long-term marriages have become experts at doing it. Although this may sound rather grim, there is a wonderful feeling between long-term spouses, and a rich shared history that can only come with the passage of time and navigating life’s many setbacks and experiences together.

Don’t let thoughts of divorce overcome your thoughts. They become an obsession which will not let you deal with the present. Divorce may come, but don’t speed it up by thinking about it all the time. If a thought of divorce comes into your mind, banish it. Marriage is all about visualization. Appreciate the good things that come in the relationship.

Let thoughts of a happy, committed marriage become the new bee in your bonnet. You may find that you enjoy the new spousal relationship you and your spouse have forged. And you may be very thankful that you did not throw your marriage away.

However, if you feel you are beyond the point of no return, you need to consult with an experience divorce attorney as soon as possible. Do not be fooled into thinking that “you can do it yourself”.

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